Mr. Sexsmith – Sweet and Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut

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Sinclair Sexsmith has a new book for you Sweet and Rough: Sixteen Stories of Queer Smut.

In the preface to this collection, Mr. Sexsmith writes, “I deeply believe that the personal is political and that being transparent about one’s life is a spiritual path.” It’s this belief that, in my mind, makes Sinclair’s smut some of the absolute best I’ve ever read. It takes a writer who knows themself to take you here, to the place I find myself after reading these stories. This is a real life introduction to there person behind the stories, a firm handshake from the confident butch who ends one story with the beautiful and simple statement, “My name’s Sinclair.”

Yes. You’re pleased to meet them. Sinclair Sexsmith has a dirty mind and a cocksure grip on their pen, taking you deep inside these sixteen fantasies. This collection is not a quick fix. These are slow stories that burn like booze in the back of your throat and make you just as dizzy.

You will love this because it gets you off. You will love it because it’s sure of itself. These stories were written to suck you inside of each and everyone. Sinclair knows exactly how good they are at doing just that.

You will love the cocky swagger. The control. The quick pull and thrust. But it’s the poetry woven throughout this smoking hot smut that will leave you breathless.  “She tastes like the night air in summer when it’s about to turn fall and the trees are beginning to shiver their leaves. I still taste like whiskey.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

Several perfectly crafted moments make me want to see the dirtiest, uncensored, queer film noir movie that I always wish existed. The collection kicks off with sweetness. Milkshakes. Fedoras. Garters. The movies. The swinging barstools at the counter. The warm slice of pie. A pretty lady and a cocky butch. And moves confidently into the roughness of calloused fingers, bruising grips, and filthy dumpsters. I wanted to watch a young Humphrey Bogart, or better yet, Lauren Bacall, lean into a dirty doorway and say, “You know how to get fucked, don’t you?” The stories are visceral. Filled with urgent desire and dark wants.

I found myself jotting down quotes as I devoured these stories. I wanted to share so many with you, but I resisted the urge. You have to find these moments on your own. You need to. It’s the way they unfold within the stories. These little moments that pause in exactly the right spot.

It’s silly to try to call out a favorite, but I was incredibly struck by the story “Her Mouth on My Cock.” I felt like I knew what this story was going to be after reading that title. I was wrong. This is a beautiful stream of consciousness work of prose filled with lust and the need to release. Not just sexual release, but a need to be released from your body, the present, everything. This is a story we’ve all lived in one way or another. I read it in a very personal way. I felt myself inside what, to me, was a deep sadness. The rush of thoughts. The clenched desire. So sweet, this story. Incredibly beautiful. A gift.

This is a writer who loves to fuck. You feel it because these stories are sex. The way they build, rush, slow down, observe, swerve off in a new direction, spin out beyond the edges of your fingertips. You will find your mouth hanging open. Your fingers primed. You will want to fuck. You will feel fucked. You will know something intimate about the writer. You will.

Buy it from Mr. Sexsmith and support them directly (and most effectively): http://www.sugarbutch.net/sweet-and-rough.

The book is also available at Amazon.

BD

So Easily Bruised

“Did I say you could get so wet?” I felt spit fly off my lips when I said it. We’d been wrestling. Chasing each other around the house. I’d finally caught her in the living room and shoved her ass onto the tiny couch. Her forehead was under my hand. Her head pressed against the wall. She was wearing shorts and I’d shoved my thumb under the fabric to feel her pussy. Wet. She was very wet. I gripped her soaked panties. My hand jammed between her legs. I squeezed her pussy. She winced. She shook her head quickly back and forth and mouthed her answer to me, “No,” but the sound of her words never came out. She was breathing in, not out. She was sucking the word inside her, “No. No. No. No. No.”  Her eyes were squeezed shut and big, wet tears bloomed on her eyelashes. “No,” I said calmly, “No, I didn’t. You’re right. You better go clean yourself up.” She was panting so rapidly that I felt real concern. I’d been playing with her like a cat with a mouse. Catching her, being cruel for a moment, letting her go again. These were the first tears. And now she was panting. When she opened her eyes to look at me, they were open so wide. Shock.

I shoved her pussy away from me and walked out of the bedroom to go make myself another drink. I listened to the water running in the bathroom. “Wash your pussy for me,” I thought, “Pat yourself dry and we’ll begin again.” The ice cubes rattled in my glass as I carried it over to the bar. I poured a double. Whiskey. I let it roll around in my mouth. Imagined the taste of it on her tongue. I closed my eyes and remembered the night before with her dirty martini and my bourbon and the cigarette we passed back and forth before sucking on each other’s tongues for nearly half an hour. I’ve never wanted to make out with a girl for so long before. I could suck on her mouth for days.

I thought I heard her sobbing in the bathroom. I whispered to myself, “Take your time, baby. Get it together.” She’s so good. She’s so damn good. She gets wet so easily. She comes so hard. I needed her to be good tonight. I needed to show her what I wanted. I needed to fuck her just the way I liked it.

“Are you done in there yet?” I yelled. I pressed myself against the bathroom door, pushing against it. I put my lips up against the wood and whispered to her, “I want you back out here. There’s more to do.” She opened the door and I turned away from her. I sat down on the little couch, letting my knees fall open wide. “What do I want?” I asked. She looked at me. She got down on her knees and reached her hand to my shirt buttons. I slapped her away. Her fingers moved to my belt buckle. I slapped her away again. She leaned back and cocked her head, staring at me, trying to figure me out. I looked back at her with no expression, silent. She grabbed the low cut v neck on her shirt and yanked it down along with her bra, exposing her tits for me. I nodded at her and parted my lips, “Uh huh.” She rubbed her nipples with her flat palms, her fingers held stiff. She pulled her fingers slowly across her flesh and flicked at the soft curves, stiffening her nipples, reacting to the sharp feeling. I grabbed my crotch and tugged at my jeans. My cunt felt her, wanted her now. Her eyes darted down to my belt.

She tugged at the waist of my jeans. “No,” I said, “You can’t take anything off.” Her eyed darted up to me, flashing annoyance, but she nodded. She pulled on the backs of my knees and slid me to the edge of my chair. She rubbed hard in the hollow of my hips with her thumbs, pushing my legs wider apart. She buried her face between my legs and I felt her hot breath come through my jeans. “Jesus,” I whispered, caught off guard. She was eating my pussy through my jeans. I could feel everything. Her teeth pulled on me. She was letting her spit soak through. Her wet mouth met my suddenly very wet cunt through the layers of fabric. I gripped the arms of this tiny, rickety couch, “Holy fuck,” I let out. I wasn’t expecting her to turn the tables like this. I wasn’t ready, but Jesus she felt so good on me. I forgot everything for a minute. Just for a minute. I felt my pussy opening for her and I snapped back to my plan. I needed her to be mine tonight.

I grabbed her throat and stood up, pulling her off her knees and onto the couch. I gripped her throat tight, her hands flew up to my arm and pulled but I kept my grip tight. She stared into my eyes. That look. That wet, wide-eyed look that says in a shaky little voice, “I trust you right now. I trust you.” I stared at her. I was breathing hard. I felt sweat on my face. I pressed my forehead against hers and stared. Both our faces were wet with sweat. “I’m going to take care of you, baby,” I said to her, “I’m right here. Right here, tonight.” She nodded and turned her head a little to the side. I kept my forehead pressed against her, now on her temple and her damp hair. “I need you to do something for me now,” I said, “Put your hands behind your neck and lace your fingers together.” I waited for her hands to move into place. “Okay,” I said, “Like that. Can you be still for me?” She nodded. I didn’t hear any sound from her. I stood up and waited for a minute, watching her sit still, watching her hold herself stiff for me. “I’ll be back.” I said, walking away.

In her bathroom, I took my jeans off and buckled on my largest cock. She normally wants just one finger inside her. I’m not cruel. I don’t what possessed me, but somehow I wanted a big dick inside her tonight. My biggest. Maybe I got mean because we were so sweet together. Maybe I needed to know something more. I wanted to fuck like that. Pushing each other. We’d spent all day, all day playing. Sucking on each other. Napping. I’d spent hours with my face in her pussy. She can come again and again and again a thousand times with no stopping. I’d dreamed of this woman before I knew her. I fuck her like I know. She fucks me… well, I can’t even say it. Not yet. That comes later. That’s a different story. But I’ll tell you that I let her hold me in her lap and undress me like a girl. I let her finger me and suck me and fuck me all night. I let her watch me stretch long, my back curved off the bed. I let her see me buck in a bleary haze. I don’t know what she sees exactly, but she sees me come.

I pulled my jeans back up and held my cock in my hand. I went back to her. Her hands were in place. Her eyes were open but looking down to her lap. I gripped her cheeks and pressed my thumb and fingers into her flesh. “Look at me,” I said. She did. “Slide your hands up above your head. Keep them against the wall.” She did that too. I pulled her shirt over her head and off. I unhooked her bra and threw it on the floor. I pulled her boots off and let them drop with a thud onto the hardwood. I snatched at her shorts and panties and jerked them both down to her ankles, leaving them there for her to kick away. I looked up. Her hands were still above her head against the plaster. “Good,” I whispered. I gripped both her wrists in one hand and gripped her cheeks again in the other. “I want to fuck you so deep tonight,” I said. I pressed the cock up against her pussy. I pushed the tip inside her, not yet wet enough. She made a tiny, pained sound. She stared at me. Sweetly, so sweetly, she asked “Do you want to hurt me?” I answered “No,” out of habit and kissed her mouth hard. I pushed against her and heard her the sound of her head rubbing hard on the wall. Then I looked at her. “No. I do,” I said, “I do want to hurt you. I want you to feel this. I do. This might hurt.”

She nodded at me. Serious. “Okay,” she said. It sounded funny, that okay, but it was just right. “I want you to fuck me the way you want,” she said. Her cheeks blushed a deep crimson as she spoke. “I want you to show me how you like it,” she whispered. It was like a starter gun had been fired next to us. I slapped her face hard. Once, twice, again. I kept slapping her. I’d slap her. Stop. Stare at her. She’d nod. And I’d slap her again. After a dozen or so hard slaps, I reached down to my cock and held it up against her pussy again. I shoved her shoulders back. I gripped her neck. I shoved her in these tiny ways that made her jerk and stutter. I knelt down into a squat and slid the tip of my cock deeper inside her and back out. I spat in my hand several times and rubbed it on my cock before moving inside her again. Just the tip. Just the head. Her face registered the girth. We’d have to move off the couch to fuck. But I wanted her to feel this right now. I wanted her unsure.

I grabbed the back of her neck and lifted her up. She pulled on me as she stood, her hands climbed me like a ladder. With her hands on my shoulders, I dragged her over to the bed and shoved her across it face down. I grabbed the lube and poured a sizable amount into my hand. I rubbed her pussy and my cock and wiped my hand on my thigh. I held my cock between her legs. “You’re going to have to come to me,” I said. She fell back onto her knees and rubbed me up and down. I saw her legs shake. I pet her back. We were slow right now. Soft. Easing our way into it. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she said, “I’ve always had a small pussy. But I want it. I do want it.” I pushed hard against her. “You can do this, baby,” I told her. I fucked her with the tip of my cock. Slow. I felt her burn. I saw her back glow red. The room grew hot. She dripped sweat onto the sheets. My shirt, still on me, was stuck to my back and sides. My jeans were tugged down to my knees, binding me. I pulled my shirt off and then pushed her head down against the mattress, her face in the tangle of sheets. “You can do this,” I said.

“Get on top of me,” I told her and pulled myself onto the bed, tugging my jeans off. She threw one leg over me and looked down at my cock. I held it. She stared at me as she pushed her pussy down onto it. I watched the long, thick shaft disappear inside her as her eyes grew wide. She gasped and held her hands to her chest. Looking at the scene, it seemed simple. Here she was lowering herself onto my cock. I was just lying there beneath her, staring into her eyes. Innocent. Sweet. But I knew this was hard. She felt too little for this and here she was with the full length of my shaft inside her. “Can you feel how deep you are inside me?” she asked. I thought there were tears in her eyes. I nodded. “I feel you pulling on me,” I said, “I want it to hurt. I want the pain to make it last longer.” She blinked. Her mouth was open wide. She was moving slowly up and down on my cock. I stared at her. I waited. Then I jammed my hips upwards, shoving deep into her. She winced. I slapped at her tit. I slapped hard. Her hands moved to protect her and I stopped. “Put your hands on your thighs,” I said, “Keep them there.”

I went back to slapping her. I slapped one tit and then the other. I held each tit steady, one at a time, and slapped it hard. I slapped at her nipples. I stopped to pinch them. And all the while, I jammed my cock hard inside her. Hard. Again and again. She winced. She shook her head. She moved her lips with no sound coming out. She stared at me with a scared little, soft little look on her face. “You can go there,” I said, “I want you to go wherever you need to go.” She stared at me. She nodded and started to cry. I heard this tiny voice inside her say, “Uh huh.” I slapped her tits again and again. “I’m right here,” I said, “You can feel me.” She pulled one hand up to her forehead like a woman with a migraine. I let her leave it.

I don’t know how many times I hit her, but my arms were burning, my shoulders ached. She curved her body over me and wrapped her arms around me. All her weight settled onto me and I pulled my legs up to push as deep as I could inside her. This was good. I could tell it felt good. I sensed her starting to cry harder. I clamped my hand over her mouth and my words streamed out, “I want you to come to me, baby. I want you to show me how much you can take. I want you to go where you need to go and come back to me. I’m so deep inside you right now. We’re bruised. Both of us bruised. I can feel it. Can you feel it?” She was nodding as I spoke. Nodding and whimpering “Mmm hmm” under my hand. As we rocked into each other harder, pounding, she was whimpering, a high pitched moan. I felt her teeth and her spit. Her open mouth on my palm. “Do you need to bite my hand?” I asked and turned my hand sideways, offering it to her. She clamped down with her teeth and the pain shot through me. It thought she’d cut the skin. I imagined the gentle partner offering a hand to the laboring wife during childbirth and finding the grip unbearable. But you stay put. You let her transfer pain to you. You let her ease herself through you. I knew this hurt her. I heard her cry out with it. But I knew it felt so good, too. I knew she surprised herself. She was nodding her head and gnawing on my hand.

When she came, her noises were unrecognizable and tears streamed down her cheeks. I left my hand in her mouth but her teeth let go of me. I kept my hips raised with my cock deep inside her. I felt her pussy throb around it. I felt her tears on my neck. I held her so tight. I pulled out of her and she rolled me onto my back. “Press me down,” she said, “Press me down as hard as you can.” I lifted myself up and balanced my full weight on her. I held her. We were soaked in sweat and now shivering from the cool breeze coming in through the window.

We fell asleep soon after. I wasn’t sure if anything had hurt much. I wasn’t sure if she’d gone anywhere too far away before she came back again. But we slept deeply together that night. I woke early and put my hand on her chest but she jerked, saying, “No,” and I pulled it away again. She was dreaming. Something. She wanted something to go away. I rolled over and fell back asleep. She woke me in the morning with kisses on my neck. “I’ve got something to show you,” she whispered, giddy. I rolled over and she held her breast in my face. It was almost entirely purple. One big bruise. It was a little shocking, but so damn hot. She told me not to flatter myself, “I bruise easy,” she said. But still, it felt good to see it. I don’t know why. I don’t know what that feeling of pride was in having hurt her. “Is your pussy sore?” I asked. She answered me with a slow, wet kiss. Long and slow to start me up.

A few minutes later, I was buried in her thighs with a single finger dragging the walls of her pussy wondering how many times she could come for me this morning. Her words repeated themselves in my brain, “I bruise easy.” I’d never wanted to bruise a woman before. I’d done it, but for her pleasure and not mine. I’d never desired it. I’d never wanted to hit her and hurt her and fuck her so hard. But when this is right. When this is what takes you there. When you see that release and the peace that comes. You want nothing more than to make it happen for her and see that bloom under her skin. You want it to be there a few days later when you’re out for coffee. You’ll pull the picture of her bruises up in your mind and tenderly caress them before putting them away to focus once again on whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing. You’ll know her. You’ll know something deep and true about her that can never be described or explained or even understood. But it doesn’t matter. You’ll just know.

So Tired

I was tired. Not enough sleep all week. Night after night going out, drinking too much, smoking on the sidewalk. One more bar. Always one more bar. Get something to eat. Another drink.

I’d been flirting at every stop. Or trying to. No one was buying. I looked tired. Tired and old. I gave up when the girl with the smeared eyeliner told me I looked like her favorite aunt. Okay. Alright. One more drink and then I’m going. Why had I stayed in midtown?

My phone buzzed in my back pocket as I was about to pay the cabbie. She was in town. Just checking in at her hotel. Wanted to know what city I was in. I dialed her number, “I’m here. New York. I’m 10 minutes from you.” She laughed, “Meet me in the lobby. Come now.” That laugh always stops me. I lose every thought in my head. I couldn’t say anything. I hung up and told the cabbie where we were going.

I did not need another drink, but she wanted to go out. She rubbed my cheek with her palm, “Pobrecita, so sleepy.” And I followed her out into the street where we look left, then right, as if there’s a neon sign telling us which direction has the nearest and best spot for us. She walks as if she knows. Maybe she does.

She always likes the places where you have to step down off the sidewalk. Those slightly sunken bars, three steps down. There’s dark wood and burgundy booths and round tables. I know what she drinks. I help her into her seat and step to the bar. I want her to watch me. I want her to look at me standing there. I want to be shining for her. But when I turn around with our drinks in my hands, she’s staring into the dark bar, smiling at something else. I don’t turn to look. I don’t need to know. It doesn’t matter. Look at her. Nothing else matters.

She’s bright. Excited in the city. “You were smoking tonight,” she says accusingly. “Yes,” I tell her. “Sip your whiskey and kiss me,” she laughs. And I do. She kisses me for the taste of it, her tongue reaches around in my mouth. The booze. The cigarette. “What do you smell like?” she asks me and her nose is in my neck. I don’t answer. She grabs my shoulders. She’s smelling me. I love it when she smells me. I smell spicy and not like I smell in other cities. She likes this. We’re never here together. She’s surprised.

I crunch the ice in my drink. Trying not to drink. Extracting the water from the ice. Oh god, I’m exhausted. So tired. I’m willing myself not to get a second wind. I need to be in bed. But she’s here. We are here together. I realize suddenly that she’s talking and I have no idea what she’s been saying. She laughs. She pets my cheek, “Pobrecita. So tired.” I nod and yawn. My eyes water. She touches the corner of my eye with the tip of her finger, catching my tear, then kisses it off her finger. She does things like this. Absurd things. I always stare at her in wonder. How I love her little ways.

“Let’s get you in bed,” she whispers to me, kissing my ear, “I’ll tuck you in.” I look at my drink nearly untouched on the table. I drag my finger through the wet ring it left as I slide out of the booth. She tugs me by the collar, then slides her hand around to my tie and leads me out onto the street. I trip on the bottom step. She tugs at me.

In the cab, she strokes my tie and I moan. I watch the rear view mirror. The cabbie’s eyes dart between the streets and the back seat. He sees me seeing him. Her hand strokes my tie long and slow. This absurd woman. Her intentions float on the surface, always. Our cabbie lifts his eyebrows at me and clucks his tongue. He tells me I’m lucky in the way he shakes his head. I smile at him and open my mouth for her to kiss me. And she does.

In the cab, kissing me, her hand grips my tie hard and pulls. She slides her hand down and off and lands between my legs. I tilt and open my knees to her, my hand slaps against the cold window to steady myself. She is squeezing my cunt through my jeans. Grabbing me. Sucking on my neck. Taking over. “Yes,” I say to her. She’s fucking me through my jeans. I lift my hips off the seat and press into her hand. I grab her back and pull her against me. The air freshener in the cab burns my throat as I suck in air. I’m gasping. Needing this.

I hand our cabbie, now my comrade, a twenty. I don’t look at the meter. He says goodnight to us, or maybe just to me. “Goodnight,” I say. I wave at him. He waves back. She pulls on my belt, shoves me towards her hotel, and presses up against me in the revolving door. I’m relaxed. Easily pushed around. Tossed into the elevator. She tells me, “23,” and my finger hits the button, a circle of red, small chimes, movement under our feet, her hands on my belt, my belt in her hands, the leather folded into a loop, she pushes my chest against the wall and whips my thighs. “Hey,” I yell and then mumble and smile at the wall.

She hands me her key. These silly credit card keys. I hate them. I want to fumble at the lock with metal in my hands. Instead I’m a stranger in the future with a green light telling me I can enter. I miss the scraping metal, the chain and the hunk of plastic with the hotel name. Holiday Inn. A green diamond. Room 213. Where can I find that again?

I think all of this as she maneuvers me into the room and onto her bed. She takes control. I like that. She whips me with my belt through my jeans. She tells me to take off my shirt. My fingers shake. I can’t ask. I know she knows. I need to feel the slap of leather on my shoulders. I need her to soothe me. I drop my shirt and tug my tanktop over my head. I sit up straight. I pull my arms in front of me. I feel the sting and exhale. So easy. So simple. It’s down to this.

She beats me while I cry for her. I close my eyes. I’m not sobbing. There’s no shaking, no wracked sighs. I’m limp. My tears run fat and slow down my cheeks. My nose is runny. My lips are wet. When she’s done, when she knows I’m ready, she undresses herself behind me and gently presses her breasts against my back. “Pobrecita,” she whispers, “so tired,” and her hand moves on my chest. I take her hand in mine and drag it over my stomach and shove it into my jeans. She holds me bent slightly forward and fucks me while I shake on trembling thighs. Her tongue licks my neck slowly, softly and I mutter sweet things to her. Her fingers move inside me, the heel of her hand grinds against my swollen clit.

She catches me when I come, doubled over, nearly toppling head first off the bed. She pulls me back off the edge and spreads me out on my belly before lying down next to me and snuggling up close. She traces her fingers through my hair and kisses my ear. “Go to sleep,” she whispers, “I’m going to take a bath.” She kisses me and I feel my body drifting off to sleep. I’m in that liminal state between sleep and waking when I hear the water running. I swear she’s still next to me petting my head. I try to ask her if she’s still next to me but I can’t. I can’t move. I swear I can feel her. I listen.

When I wake up, she’ll be asleep beside me. I’ll order breakfast and make the waiter stay outside the door when it comes. She’ll wake up smelling coffee and smile at me. I’ll crawl under the covers. My shoulders will sting and I’ll flinch as I suck on her. I’ll dash back to my hotel early to change before I have to go to the airport. I’ll think about her and write all this down. I’ll miss her already and wonder when I’ll see her again.

Call & Response

The Call: Say Yes Please Say Yes To Closeness And To Tears

The Response:
I want you, yes, but I’ll never say it. I’ll never tell you. Trust it. Feel it in my grip. It seeps through my fingertips pressed into the soft flesh under your jawbone. Want. Desire. Respect. The foundations of love if not yet love.

I never cut off your breathing. I don’t kill you. That’s how you know. Crawl up into your own heart and fill it with knowing and believe what I feel, what you know that I feel.

You cry when I hold you. My body wraps tenderly around you but my expression is cold. I don’t hush you with, “there, there sweet baby.” I lick your tears hungrily. I rub my thumb harshly with too much pressure against your cheek. I shove my tongue into your mouth. That’s how you learn. You learn to know how I want you.

Listen to me now, I am teaching you something important. I will beat it into you because that is how you learn. A welt, this bruise, take your lumps. Your back is my purple cartography project, curved in front of me. I strike. Stay muffled. Hold it in. That feeling. That lump inside you. That’s your knowledge of my desire, my love. Feel it like a bruised and pulpy fruit deep inside you. I am the buried pit.

Feel it in the buckle as I bind your wrist. Tight. Press your palms on the wall. I keep your body low, curved, unable to stretch out. It gives me places to grip. Your bent elbow. Let me squeeze your crooked torso. Accept me. Accept what feels so painful. Not this pinch, your twisted flesh in my fingers. Not the bite on your upper arm. The pain you must accept is deeper, more ancient. You have chosen me as your teacher, but I am not the lesson. It’s you who travels along the nerve endings and rides the synapses inside your body. With each flinch you learn how to accept me, how to love you.

Stay still. Listen. I unbuckle my belt behind you. I twist it around my palms and snap it tight. You, bound to the wall, naked, on your knees in front of me. Look at the wall. Stay still. I slide my belt under your chin and keep your head high. My cock is between your legs. Feel it. I am coming for you soon. Crawl inside yourself. Crawl in deep. Go further back in that cave you explore when I fuck you. The darkness so dark your eyes never adjust. I watch your neck tense. I pull the belt away and move it under your hips. Here. Lower your head. It’s time.

I fuck your ass. I angle your hips, pulling you with my belt. Does it cut into you? You are my rag doll right now. Harder. I hear your spit hit the floor. Your spit spews out as you breathe through clenched teeth. This. Feel it. Touch the walls of your cave and feel the water seeping through the rock. The mineral deposits, rough under your palms. I want you. You know it. You doubt it. I am just fucking you. Shake your head. Let the spit fly. You’re sobbing. Snot dripping onto your face. Disgust and desire and pressure and look how dirty. What a dirty life. It’s what I want. It’s what you want. Trust it. I drop the belt and grab at you. Slapping your cunt while I fuck you. I want you to come hard. Let it hurt. Bent over and throbbing. Chained. I’ll have to wipe your nose for you after. You’ll have to be raw and tender. You’ll have to know because I unchain you. Know because I run my fingers through the sweat in your hair. Know because I slap your face before I shove my tongue in your mouth and then walk out the door. I want you. Yes, but you have be the one to tell yourself. You won’t believe me anyway.