Tag: erotica

Inside Her

I need you to take me. I need it without asking for it. I need you to know. I need you to know me in a way that I don’t know myself. I need you to show me my own map. I want to be scared and trusting at the same time. I want you to scare me. I crave the fear of my own hidden desire. I need it. More and more, I need it.

Sometimes I scream. A short, swallowed yelp as you swiftly grab me and push me against the wall. It lights me up inside. I feel the fire burn through my arms as you spread me open and hold me down. When you press me up against the cold plaster in the hallway, my face and neck burn with desire. I push my ass into you, carefully, not wanting to be found out. Not wanting to admit that I need to be taken like this. That my resistance is only part of the dance. That I’m calling you. The snake calling the charmer, I twist and curve for you. My body begs you to shove your hand down my pants. To rip my shirt open and roughly jam your hand under my bra. Leave it hooked, let it cut into my flesh as you pull against it. I love your calloused fingers. I love knowing that while I feel you rough and jarring, you barely feel me through the thick skin on your fingertips.

I play for you. I play the part. My lips pouting, parted. My gasps and sighs are for you. To build your desire. To make you burn and attack me like I want. I want you to strap me down. I want my wrists bound and pulled up against the wall. I want my head crooked, uncomfortable. I want to be shamed as the slut that I am. That you know me to be. That you admire and want. That I hate to admit and love to let you see.

You push me further down into the depths. You strap me down on my stomach. My wrists curved over the edge of the bed, hands pulled down between the mattress and the wall. You shove me onto my belly and bind my wrists beneath the bed. My ass, vulnerable in the air behind me. I feel your movements on the mattress and can’t see, can’t know what you’re about to do to me. It’s this that gets me. This is why I show up at your door time and time again when I know that I shouldn’t. When I think I’m not ready. You make me ready. You push me further. You draw my map and make me walk the path you’ve laid out before me.

You barely touch me with your thumbs. You stroke the back of my thighs. I bite into the mattress. I moan for you. I move my hips in the air, under your nose. I picture you watching me. I tease your desire. In my mind, I’m sucking on your cock. I know somehow that you’re imagining it too. I feel like I’m drawing you into my brain, into my fantasies. Somehow you get me and we’re together in our thoughts. That’s how I can let you push me, because you’re pushing me deep inside my own desires. How can I tell you? How can I explain what you do to me? Only by letting you fuck me. “Fuck me.”

When you slide underneath me and suck on my pussy, I want to cry. There is no one who wants me more than you do. There is nowhere I feel more divine than tied down to your bed with your face between my legs. When I can watch you, I see your face lost in prayer. You lift your eyebrows and furrow your brow. I am your rosary. This is your confession. I know this. I know what I am to you. Nothing physical could make me feel this good. It’s not the sex. It’s not your tongue. It’s your religion. It’s what I become to you and what you make of me.

Your fingers, your tongue on my ass scare me more than anything. You know this and then you build up to it. I feel the lube dripping between my cheeks. I hear the glove snap onto your hand. I feel your slick finger stroking me. “No,” I say, but my moaning gives me away. “Oh,” I say and give in. You can fuck me however you want. Make me feel dirty. Tell me I’m your whore. Flatten your palm, spread your fingers and push me deep down into the mattress. Whisper in my ear that I’m yours. Circle your fingers around my throat. Make me open my mouth wide like a fish on the dock. You’re my fisherman. I grant you three wishes.

Fuck me from behind. I’m on my side. You curve around my back, one hand pulling on my shoulder, your hips jerking and pushing your cock into my pussy from behind me. I know how hard you work for me. I know you make yourself sore. I know you think about fucking me when you work out. You think about building the muscles you need fuck me right. I know how to make you want me like that. I give you that smile. I let you take things from me that you know I treasure. I let you scare me. I want it. I know how to let my muscles relax when you take me. I know how to keep my arms loose when you throw me onto the bed. I know to push back against you just enough to feel the struggle.

My reward, when I can take it, is how you give in to me. Those times when you let me push you back onto the chair. When you hang your arms at your sides and watch me undo your pants. When you let me suck your cock or ride you while you sit there passively until your head falls back, until you reach around and grab my hips, until you moan and come and sometimes cry. When you tell me how you love me. I love you so much when you let me see that. I love you so much. I tug on your shirt collar and kiss your mouth. I get in bed with you, under the covers, and hold you.

Those are the nights that I lay awake while you sleep, smiling, knowing that after what you’ve let me see tonight, you’ll be rougher with me tomorrow. The thought of it makes me wet. I can feel your cock pounding into me, your fingers tight around my wrists. I can see the look in your eyes as you stare at me from up above. I want you to take me. Take me like this. Take me angry. Take me scared. Take me because you trust me and know that I trust you. Take me because you know I don’t give up easily. Take me because you’re worth it. You’re so fucking worth it. I’m your girl.

crisp hundred dollar bills

‘how much would you pay for me?’

we had just fucked and i was trying to unwind the sheets so i could get comfortable. ‘what?’ i laughed, ‘you want to know what i’d pay you to fuck me?’ she stared at me and got that look in her eye.

‘i’m not cheap,’ she said and ran her finger between my breasts, down my stomach and rested her hand on my cunt which was still throbbing and wet from being fucked. ‘you would not be cheap,’ i answered, ‘you’d be expensive and worth it.’ we stared at each other until she started laughing, but we both saw how much fun the idea might be. she wants to play a game.

i kissed her. we worked ourselves up again. she was grabbing at me so aggressively that i took a moment to look her in the eyes. she was imagining this. i could feel it. she was thinking of being a whore for me and it turned her on. and the surprise of her desire for this got me very excited. something entirely new was opening up here. but not yet. we fucked quickly and then, truly exhausted, fell asleep for the night.

i woke up thinking about it. i could go to the bank and get a couple crisp hundreds. two hundred, i thought, for starters. but how do i set this up? i needed to plan things out. how would she like to play this? how far could i take her? i spent the next week planning.

i called her cell from a hotel room early afternoon. i knew she wouldn’t pick up without knowing the number. listening to her outgoing message made me nervous. i stood up and took a deep breath to calm down for leaving my message. ‘i got your number from a friend of mine. i hear you’re discreet. i’d like to meet you this afternoon. call me back at…’ i hung up and waited. why was i so fucking nervous? i needed a drink. the phone rang. hotel phones are always so loud; i nearly jumped off the bed.

‘hello?’ silence, and then, ‘you called me?’ her voice had a smile behind it. ‘yes, i’m looking for a date. i got your name from a friend,’ i said. i worried that maybe she would laugh this off. i felt foolish. and then she said in a weary voice, ‘you said that already, in your message,’ she was right there. she was playing her part already. now i’m the fumbling guy who doesn’t know how to do this and all i can do is fake it. ‘right. i’d like to meet you. my hotel. say, in an hour?’ she paused, thinking it over and i jumped in, ‘wear something nice. i like stockings and heels. i’ve got some nice brandy for you here.’ i could hear her smile as she agreed, ‘i’ll be there in an hour.’ i didn’t have the brandy yet so i dashed out to find a decent liquor store.

back in the room i opened up the brandy and had a drink to calm down. i took out the two crisp hundred dollar bills and displayed them on the nightstand next to the bed. i pulled the sheets down. i set up two glasses next to the bottle. i was already dressed and packing and ready. suit pants, dress shirt with collar stays, silk tie, and underneath a white, ribbed tank top. i put my bag next to the bed. i’d brought a few toys but hadn’t totally planned what i’d use. i wanted to play it by ear.

she showed up wearing a button down blouse with a skirt that hit a few inches above her knees, it had a slit in the back. she had on sheer black stockings and heels. she had her hair up in a way i hadn’t seen it before. she looked stunning, anyone would be beaming to walk down the street with her on their arm. in heels, she was much taller than i am and it played the scene perfectly. she eyed the money on the table and i offered her a brandy. ‘you can’t kiss me on the mouth,’ she said. ‘ok,’ i answered, ‘any other rules?’ she thought about this for a minute then smiled and said, ‘no.’

i took my drink over to the chair and sat down with my knees set wide apart. the brandy was going to my head pretty quickly; i had been too excited to eat that day. i saw her cheeks getting flushed too. brandy always hit her fast. but never too much. she kicked the bag at her feet and asked what was in it. ‘not now,’ i said, ‘i’d like a lap dance. can you do that for me?’ she answered with a smile and walked towards me. her fingers were slowly undoing the buttons on her blouse. suddenly the thin chain she always wore around her neck made her look so vulnerable. somehow it made this feel more real. she turned her side towards me and told me to unzip her skirt. my fingers were steady and slow, lingering on her hips until she pushed them away. she slipped out of her skirt and tossed it aside with her foot. she was wearing her sexiest bra and panties with a garter belt holding up her stockings. with her hair up, her neck looked long and lovely. she turned around and bent over at the waist, my hands went to her hips as she settled onto my lap. then she sat back up, her shoulder blades in front of my face, her hands gripping the arms of the chair. she moved with some song in her head. i could tell she was listening to a tune and a rhythm i wasn’t privy to. her hips circled on my lap and she rubbed against my permanent hard-on.

she stood up and turned around, pushing her knees onto the chair, straddling my legs. she squeezed her breasts together with a cocky smile and shoved her cleavage into my face. then grabbed me by the back of the head getting her fingers greasy in my slicked back hair and pulled me into her. she swayed back and forth and circled and bobbed up and down on my lap. she was one hundred percent in control and i was her puppet. just there to sit with my tongue hanging out lusting for more.

she stood up and grabbed my tie, pulling me out of the chair. ‘you don’t say much, do you?’ she laughed. ‘no,’ i said softly, ‘i don’t.’ she pulled me over to the bed and shoved my chest, pushing me back onto the mattress. ‘show me what you brought in the bag,’ she breathed. she couldn’t hide her excitement and i grinned at her, clearly pissing her off. ‘you go ahead and open it,’ i said and pulled myself up on my elbows. my legs were dangling off the bed and she stood between my knees. i undid my belt and pants while she picked up the bag. I loosened my tie. ‘stop that,’ she said, now she let herself feel anger and stepped back into control, ‘i’ll undress you.’ she opened the bag and dumped it onto the foot of the bed.

‘you don’t get to tie me up,’ she said, looking at the cuffs, ‘that’s a lot more than what you’ve got on the table there.’ ‘those are for me,’ i said. ‘okay mister,’ she said, ‘let’s get started then.’ she crawled up on top of me and sat back on my stomach. i had to squeeze my abs tight to hold her there. she undid my tie completely and pulled it out from under my collar. she unbuttoned my shirt and moved so i could lean up enough for her to pull it off. she ran her hands up my undershirt and pinched through it into my flesh, then pulled it up over my head. she took my belt off with one slow pull and tossed it on the floor. she got off the bed and removed my shoes and socks, but left my pants in place, undone but on.

‘up on your knees,’ she said and picked up the cuffs, thick black leather with silver rings and a small length of chain to bind them together. she moved behind me and took first one arm and then both behind my back. she took her time buckling me in. i felt myself melting into her. i hung my head on my chest and she gripped my forearms, pulled her hands up my arms and then around to my chest. she tugged on my nipples and i could feel her bra against my back. ‘do you want to please me?’ she whispered in my ear and took the opportunity to nibble on my neck. ‘yes,’ my voice caught as i answered and i had to repeat myself, ‘yes.’ 

she pulled me onto the floor with my back up against the bed. she straddled my legs and walked forward until her pussy was in my face and kept coming forcing my head back on the bed. she positioned herself over me on the bed and i strained to put my mouth on her panties. ‘let me lick your pussy,’ i said. she lowered herself onto me. my tongue reached long and i started licking her low. i licked her hard to press the satin deep into her wet pussy and soon the fabric was drenched. my hands strained in their cuffs wanting to grab her. i moaned loudly letting her feel the vibrations of my voice and she reacted, rocking harder against my tongue. my chin was now pressing into her and i could graze my teeth against her swelling clit.

i sucked through the fabric, pulling her into my mouth and she hit her hand on the bed and groaned. she pulled herself off me and i watched her unhook her bra and garters, slip herself out of her stockings and panties. i noticed her red toenails. her pussy was flushed a deep pink with wet, matted hair. she straddled my face again and i pushed my tongue deep inside her before stroking the length of her and circling her clit. over and over while she rocked above me, slowly increasing the tempo, i lost myself in her. when she pulled away i felt dizzy like waking up in a dream. ‘get up,’ she said, ‘don’t you want to fuck me?’ i scrambled to my knees and then up on my feet.

she pulled my pants off, shoved me on the bed, and positioned my cock the way she wanted it. she pumped some lube on her hand and grabbed my dick to get it wet with a few quick strokes. she unhooked my cuffs but left them on, the chain dangling off my right arm. she got on all fours in front of me on the bed and i knelt behind her. ‘what are you going to do now?’ she growled. she sounded truly angry and it made my heart pound. ‘i’m going to fuck you,’ i said, keeping my voice quiet. ‘i’m going to fuck you,’ i repeated, ‘isn’t that what you want?’ she backed her ass up against my cock and rubbed against it. ’stay still,’ she said. i froze. her back was dipping into a deep sway as she rubbed, dipping and arching there in front of me. my cunt was dripping as i watched her and i strained not to move a muscle. she rubbed herself harder against me and i was mesmerized staring at her movements. i wanted to stay perfectly still and watch her dance for me. i wanted her to beg me, but she wouldn’t in this game. finally, she reached back and pulled me into her. that was good enough. with my hands on her hips, i pushed my cock deep inside her. the chain on my wrist brushed her thigh with every thrust. she rocked back against me. i was so turned on that the pressure against my clit was getting me off and she could hear it in my breathing.

when she came i stayed deep inside her, pulled her hard onto me and held tight. she shuddered and then i loosened my grip and let her go. she got up and stared into my eyes while she slipped the strap-on and harness off of me. ‘we need to get you off, mister,’ she said with a laugh behind her eyes. she propped up the pillows and leaned me back, burying her face quickly in my cunt. i sucked in my breath. she was fucking me with her fingers and sucking hard on my clit. it was almost too much for me and i started writhing, almost pulling away, but had an explosive orgasm within minutes. i yelled out and hit the wall above my head. she just looked up smiling at me.

then she quickly got up, gathered her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. she came back out fully dressed, took a last sip of her brandy and grabbed the money on the table. ‘thanks for the date,’ she said, ‘call me when you’re back in town.’ she didn’t look back as she opened the door and left. i stayed there naked on the bed for nearly an hour and then pulled myself together to go home. expensive, but worth it, i thought to myself.

strength

we are on the bed wrestling. the stakes are control – who gets it. we usually start out laughing but it always turns serious. always. and it’s hot. i love how we fight. i look for the scratches and bruises the next morning and finger them all day remembering how they got there.

it’s never been black and white for us. we explore different sides of ourselves when we’re together. I can’t say why it’s different with her, but somehow it just is. when we met we identified as queer but not really butch or femme. well, she is certainly far more of a femme than i am butch. and her femme is a powerful thing to be in the presence of. i kneel down to her on a regular basis and she devours me.

if i win, it’s because she lets me. she gives up, panting and looking up at me pissed off. if the room is warm enough, some of her hair will be sticking to her cheek with sweat. and i’m sitting on her hips holding her down, my hands on her wrists. i love this moment. she stares right back at me daring me to look as long as she can hold my gaze. she can stare. i tend to start feeling like a trapped animal and feel myself dying to shake it off. but sometimes, i can stay with it and calm way down. my eyes become my passion and i stare and hold her in this look until she feels it. i wait and see it welling up in her. and then i get to smile.

we wrestle like a rodeo show. it’s wild and scrappy until someone is on top and everything is still. the balance is struck and both sides relax into the outcome. here i am on top of her. now i get to kiss her. i get to sit on her pinning her down while i unbutton her shirt. i can stare long at her and she lets me; she watches me.

every time i get to touch her it feels new. there is always something more to experience and learn. i silently count up all the marks on her skin. i run my fingers under seams and unhook hooks, undo buckles, inch her clothes down and off.

‘take your time,’ she says. she speaks to me like we’re sitting down at breakfast. she sounds so matter-of-fact about it all. it always makes me smile to hear her. i think of it sometimes when she asks me to pass the butter in the morning. i smile to myself and remember that tone in such a different setting and it will set me off again. she might wonder why i suddenly grab her at breakfast and kiss her like we’re fucking… this is why. i love this.

‘take your time,’ she said. she used to have to say it more urgently. she used to have to remind me all the time to slow down. before i felt sure enough of her to breath. i would rush as if she might walk away at any minute. but now she says it because she likes to say it out loud. she says it to let me hear it. she says it to give me the space to enjoy her when i end up on top. when she lets me end up on top.

but mostly, she wins. and it goes like this:

she stretches out above me with a look of victory on her face. she gets up on her knees and her arms pin me down. she flattens her palms on mine and wraps her fingers through mine. she brings her face just above mine and gloats. she almost gets a mean look in her eye. or maybe it is mean and i just pretend it isn’t. she is greedy and i appreciate her greed.

she flattens down on me with her legs still under her. she slowly sits back on my hips and leans her ass farther back pressing against my pelvic bone. she looks like she’s deep in prayer in this pose and her breath tickles my face. she likes to tease me, keeping her lips off my skin and just letting me feel the warmth from her skin near me. she rises and falls on me slowly, lifting her hips and pressing them back down. she inches her way down, rocking against me. i start to melt for her. i can’t get this soft for most girls. it’s her.

she knows what i had to go through as a kid. how i had to hide what felt like every true part of me. she knows how i default to be the one who holds it together, the one taking care of everything. she knows it takes a strong femme to release me. she is strong enough for both of us in these moments. she makes it safe for me to surface and expose my soft skin.

i let her undress me. my breasts exposed to her, the curve of my waist. underneath my clothes i am a woman but she holds me as butch. she doesn’t lie about it or ignore what i expose for her. but she holds it in the way she looks at me.

i let her unbuckle my belt and slowly pull it out of my belt loops. sometimes she uses it to keep me still. sometimes she slides it under my shoulders and pulls me to her. i let her unbutton my jeans. she slips a finger under the elastic of my boxers and leans down to kiss my stomach. she takes her top off and leaving her bra on, presses into me. takes my face in her hands and kisses my mouth, nips at my lips until i open for her and her tongue fills me. she squeezes my head in her hands when she kisses me like this. she chases away everything that could interrupt us. ‘stay here with me,’ she whispers, ‘don’t wander.’

and then she’s on my neck and i’m squirming beneath her. her mouth on my neck sends me off. it always make me impatient and she takes advantage of this weakness in the best possible ways. when she’s on me like this and sucking on my neck, i lift my knees. i tilt my hips up to her. i wrap a leg around her and pull at her. i run my hands down her back and grab her ass. i get desperate for her. and she takes it in and lifts her head up to smile at me. she kisses me on the mouth, then my chin, then my neck. she shifts herself down so that her stomach presses between my legs and presses into me. she kisses my chest between my breasts and stops to suck on my skin, to pinch and bite my nipples while i moan my consent. she runs a finger from the pocket between my collar bones down to my boxers. she pulls them down to expose the tiniest peek of hair and runs her fingers under the cotton, tugging at me. staring at me.

she rests her head low on my belly and kisses me as she tugs my pants off of me – keeping my boxers in place, but pulling them down below my hip bones. she kisses my thighs, kneading my muscles that are always sore these days. she slips her fingers up under the open leg of my boxers and her thumb pushes into me. ‘i love how wet you get with me,’ she says. her voice changes when when she fucks me, when she is in control. it’s a deep whisper now, throaty. she sounds like she’s sharing something big and important but only wants me to hear it.

she stays with just this. just her thumb slowly moving up and down between my legs, never even touching my clit but just making me wetter and wetter. i lift my hips, my back arching off the mattress. i press my palms down flat into the bed and leave only my feet and my shoulders on the bed. i lift and lower and let her watch me. then she puts her other hand on me. she circles her hand on my stomach. she rubs hard against my skin. she reaches up and pulls on my nipple. she moves herself and lays half on me, half on the bed all along my side. she puts one hand deep into my boxers and now her whole hand is on my cunt – what she calls my pussy. she touches her lips just behind my ear. she stays so soft and gentle. she whispers in my ear, ‘let it go, baby.’ she knows it’s hard for me to give in and give over. she kisses my face, my mouth. she shifts more on top of me and picks up the rhythm of her hand on my cunt. long, slow movements getting faster now and making me moan. i open my eyes to stare at her. her mouth is open and just above mine. i can smell her sweet breath and feel it’s warmth. i stare at her while she works her hand and her fingers more and more intensely. when i orgasm, i hold her gaze. it’s serious for a minute and then i smile. sometimes we laugh. she knows this isn’t easy for me. not like when i fuck her. it isn’t easy to accept her focus. but i feel stronger every time.