The Grab and Tussle

We’d been out at the beach all day freezing our asses off. It was a gorgeous January day. A bright blue shining sky with a warm sun when it wasn’t filtered by clouds. She ran around with her dog. I moved to stand in the patches of sun. My toes were cold.

It was crowded. That bright sun and the clear sky called out to people. The ocean is the ocean, warm or cold. It’s necessary to go take it in when you can. I collected sticks, driftwood, shells. I worked on my sculpture like I always do. Feeling for the soft flat places in the wood that are just right for balancing. I get lost in stacking, balancing, trying to reach impossible heights, watching it collapse and starting over.

We loaded back up in her car and headed to my place. We were going to fuck, but fell asleep fondling each other. We tried. It was when I yawned with her tongue in my mouth that we gave up pretending we had the energy, laughing and feeling frustrated at the same time. Cold days at the beach exhaust me. We slept the whole afternoon. I hate naps. I want to love them but I’m a deep sleeper and waking up from a nap is miserable.

I didn’t want to go out. She chided me until I agreed to walk to the bar. It was crowded and noisy. I sulked and ordered vodka. I drank it quickly, too quickly after the sleepy afternoon. “Fuck it,” I thought and got up to dance. No one was dancing. I danced. She stared. This isn’t like me. I stared back at her and laughed and kept on dancing.

I tried to get her to join me. She just stared in disbelief and turned back to some friends who were there. I danced the dance of the slut, alone on the floor in a space between the bar and the jukebox. There are very few women who will come dance with you when you’re out there on your own like this. I found one.

She had been at a table by herself. She’d been watching me. I saw her. She came near me and stood. She put her hands out towards my hips but didn’t touch me. She smiled at me. She said, “You’re pretty, baby.” “I’m not fucking pretty,” I snapped at her, my cheeks burning red. I hate the word pretty. “You’re sexy,” she corrected, “You’re so goddamn sexy.”

She let herself grab my hips. She stood behind me. I danced and she held my swaying hips in a strong grip. I looked at her over my shoulder. She leaned back a little and watched me while she held on. I moved backwards towards her, giving her permission to pull me against her. She was quick. Her forearm flashed around my waist and I was suddenly held tight against her. Panic jolted through me for a second before it hit me just how turned on I was.

Her hot mouth was on my neck, sucking hard. One hand was flat, fingers splayed on my chest. One hand tugged at my belt. My lover jumped up and grabbed my arm. My arm. As if I was the one to grab. I laughed. I was enveloped. She couldn’t pull me out of this. “Join me,” the woman said. I heard her voice, raspy, in my ear. “Join her,” I smiled. “Let’s go,” one of them said.

It took us a long time to get to my place. I was rolled across the brick buildings and plate glass windows with hands grabbing and pulling at me. I held on to someone’s belt with one hand and grabbed a crotch with the other. I felt her cunt through the thick denim. Someone’s tongue was in my mouth. It must have been the stranger’s because she didn’t taste like my lover. My eyes were mostly closed.

I grabbed at them. They fought for me. Then there was the moment. It froze for me while I spun around taking it in from all angles. I sucked in my breath. My lover smashed up against me, face to face, her knee jammed between my legs. The other pressed her whole body against my back with her arms reaching around me. There were no hands on me but I felt their muscled arms clutching each other. Grabbing and desperate. I didn’t want to move. Then I heard someone on the sidewalk yell out at us. We needed to go.

In my apartment we barely fit on my mattress. I was in the middle of a wrestling match. My clothes were pulled off. I fumbled with their buttons, belts. “Take your socks off,” I insisted. I saw her ass as her jeans came off, the stranger I mean. My lover was on her knees, jerking this fucking hot butch’s jeans down off her ass and I saw her jock strap and then my lover’s blush. I stroked my sweet lover’s head. I kissed her. I pulled her face to the other woman and watched as they kissed and slapped each other. Their open palms slapping at each other’s shoulders.

I ran my fingers down their backs. I touched them where I could, keeping out of the way from their blows. They fucked hard, abandoned. I knelt behind my lover and rubbed against her ass as she fucked this other woman who was now on all fours in front of us. I felt myself fucking her. I wrapped my arms around my lover’s chest and felt her panting breaths as she fucked. As they fucked. I felt a blue surge of power and adrenalin and pure lust. I grabbed a cock from the drawer and leaned against the wall next to the mattress to fuck myself.

They fucked while I watched. After their explosion, they turned to look at me. I showed them. I sat with my knees wide and falling open, fucking myself with a thick cock. They were wet with streaks of lube and cum on their thighs, sweat on their arms and chests and necks. Red faced. Dazed. I felt clear and sober. Staring at them. They knew not to move. Not to come near me.

I knocked my back hard against the plaster when I got off. I held the cock deep inside me and bent forward. They crawled to me, pulling me onto them. My lover took the cock from my hands and toyed with it inside me. Our stranger sucked on my breast. They moved me on top of and over them. I was passed between them. Fucked all night. Bruised and raw. Blessed.

Butch on Butch

I needed the slap and the struggle. I felt jittery, anxious. I needed to clear my head. There are days when I walk down the sidewalk and want to walk into a boxing gym just to get the shit beaten out of me. This was one of those days.

I look for a crisply shaved neck. A freshly buzzed cut. I want to smell aftershave and feel that ribbed tank top underneath a crisply starched shirt. I want to fumble with my thick fingers on a leather belt. The creak of her boots. The jangling of her chain. I want to see a tattoo almost hidden under her collar on the side of her neck.

Toe to toe. Let me stand and look at you. We’re the same height. Too short for what we are so we stand stiff and ramrod straight. When we walk our hips pivot instead of sway. We sit with our knees wide. Cocky. Come here. Let me find you tonight in the usual places.

I get a beer at the bar. I’m in my own uniform. Sleeves rolled up tight and high. A belt that can bind you. My thick wallet bulging in my back pocket. Square toed, belted harness boots. My jeans are loose on my hips. My hair is slicked and stiff. Pocketknife in my front right pocket next to a buckeye that’s rubbed and worn. I have a new cock. It bends more comfortably against my thigh than anything I’ve worn before. I’m wearing a leather harness. It’s bulkier in my jeans but I prefer the control. I’m going to fuck you.

I turn around and lean against the bar. I don’t give a fuck about anything tonight. You have to walk out on that edge to get pummeled and that’s where I’m headed. I shove one hip forward and hook a thumb in my front pocket and stroke my bulge with my fingers. I look around the room. Come to me. Come here. This is artifice, it delights me. I raise my beer high and tilt my head far back so my neck stretches long and you can see my throat move and swallow. When I look back down, I choose you.

There you are watching me. Smiling, appreciating my little show. You’ve got the shirt and the jeans. The boots. The belt. The chain. Your hair is greased down and wavy. You’ve got a black comb in your pocket. That’s what got me. Stay sharp. Keep it neat. You move your knees wider and stare. I put my hand back on my cock. You grab your coat.

You’re headed for the bathroom but I grab your elbow. I need more than that right now. I need this to last. “Please,” I sigh into your ear. You understand me. You look nervous, but we go out together and you drive. In the car I reach over and stroke your cock through your jeans. I want to suck you off but the wheel is too close to you. “How far?” I whine, an impatient little kid, I need you now. “Not long,” you soothe me and reach over to pet my thigh.

You have a small house. It’s all dark inside and you don’t bother with the lights until we’re headed into a bedroom. You flick on the hallway light and leave the room dark. Long shadows of us stretch out on the bed. I push you, my hands on your hips and you grab me quickly and turn me around. This is the fight I wanted. We’re wrestling, still standing, seeing who will get the other on the bed first. My boots are scraping against the floorboards.

You get an arm hooked all the way around me and squeeze tight. You slap at my flailing arms. You’ve got me so tight I can’t fight back so I wrap my arms around you and hold on. Now you’re trying to peel me off of you but I’m not budging. I can feel your cock against my thigh and it gets me wet. I shove off with my feet and hurl myself backwards onto the bed bringing you with me. When you land on me it knocks my breath away for a second.

You lean above me. Your shirt is all untucked now. Your hair is mussed. My fingers are on your belt. It’s thick leather and I move it slowly to hear the way it creaks as it bends. We’re panting. Moving in slow motion. I pull your cock out and run my fingers along the shaft. “Get it wet,” you grunt as you move yourself into position, resting the tip of your cock on my chin. I turn my head to spit on it and you push into my mouth. I don’t do this. I’m not skilled. But it’s what I want from you tonight. I suck your cock while you look down at me. I do my best. You talk to me, telling me how I need to learn how to suck you off. You tell me that I need to take it. You rest your thumb on my forehead and I notice how much I’m sweating.

You reach one arm long behind you and pull at my belt. My arms run up your back. I’m still sucking on your cock but you pull out and turn around. You tug your boots and jeans off and move between my legs. I’m up on my elbows watching you jerk my jeans below my hips and take my cock in you mouth. You take it slowly in and out of your mouth and then you look at it almost cockeyed as you let a string of spit fall slowly onto it. I watch you in awe. You’re good. You’re beautiful. “Show me your ass,” I growl. My voice breaks from having been silent for so long.

You stand up. I stand up to face you. I unbutton your shirt and lift your tank top over your head. I look into your eyes to see if this is okay with you and then suck on your tits, never touching them with my hands. My tongue, my teeth, my lips. I bite and suck but my hands are on your ass. I pull you back onto the bed and pull the blanket over us. “Where do you want my cock,” I ask, “Take it.” You’re on your hands and knees and reach back to pull me into your cunt. I reach around and feel your hand on your cock and I wrap my own hand around your fingers.

I fuck you slowly. We get so hot under your blanket. Slow and deep. My belly is sweating against your ass. Our hands are wet. I’ve lost my sense of urgency and anger and just want this to last. I want to fuck you so slow. We build and back away again. I stay inside you for so long that your moans start to sound as if you’ll cry. Will you break? I want to release you. I tell you to get on your back and you grab your knees. I like fucking you like this while your cock is laying against your stomach. I like the way it looks.

You scream like an animal when you come. Scream. It’s such a surprise I get chills. It wakes us up and makes me hungry. I pull a condom out of my back pocket and roll it onto your dick. “Lube,” I say gruffly and you point. You lie there and watch me get your dick slicked up for me. I keep you on your back and lower my ass onto you. Slowly. I stroke my cock and slowly take yours in my ass. I can feel the blush creep into my neck and face. You’re shining.

You’re all the way inside me and we start a slow grind. You lift your hips off the mattress for me while I move up and down on you. It fills me. I’m pressing my cock against my clit and everything is lit up on fire. I have to double over and hold my knees after I come. You ask me if I’m okay and I laugh. My god. Yes. I am purified and whole again. I’m about to kiss you when I realize that we haven’t kissed yet and now it feels strange. I hold your face and run my thumb across your lips. I lean in to kiss you and you dodge away. “You’ve got to catch me first,” you say and take off running into the dark house.

I’m naked on the bed against the wet sheet. I need to go find you. I need this now.