It’s sticky hot in Oakland tonight but I’m remembering colder weather. A thick fog rolling in over the hills and wet, grey air calling us out onto the deck just before dusk. We’re enveloped in it. A cloud cover all our own. Relieved to be hidden from the nagging neighbors and their constant annoyance at our late night drinks with friends and loud laughter.
My hands reach around her as soon as we’re on the deck. I find her buttons and pull, one by one, slipping them out of their tight little button holes, finding her belly under the stiff cotton of her shirt. Not satisfied, not stopping, my fingers slide into her jeans and one hand moves between her shoulder blades. I bend her towards the deck railing. “Grab it,” I say and her arms steady herself against the wet wood.
I shove my hand between her legs, leaving her soft panties between my fingers and her pussy. I feel the stiff pricking of her short, trimmed pubic hair through the satin.
Holding her like this, seeing her bent over in front of me, my pants get tight. I shove myself up against her ass. I grab at her tits through her bra, pulling and twisting the fabric out of my way. I grab her with rough hands. Squeeze her between my fingers. I rub my hand against her panties until her pussy and my fingers are wet.
“Breathe,” I say out loud. This is for me. For me to remember to breathe and not suck it all in and hold tight and pass out. I have to be reminded to let go or I stay tight. Sucked in. Stiff. Red faced. I’m a balloon about to pop. I have to remember to vibrate and bend just enough to relax into this.
“Let me fuck you,” I say into the back of her neck. My hands undo her jeans and roll them down her thighs. I feel how strong she is and the contrast of thick muscle against her soft skin. I rub the backs of her thighs and slap her ass as I move my hands up and down, up and down. Slap. “Let me fuck you,” I say without needing to. She always lets me fuck her. She tells me all the time. She says, “Do whatever you want.” She taunts me with it when I’m lazy, “You know you can fuck me whenever you want, right?,” she says, “How does that feel?”
“Let me fuck you,” I say a third time and slap her ass hard. “Do it already,” she cries. My fingers are inside her before she shuts up. “Fuck you,” I say, “You act like you don’t care.” I wrap one arm around her to hold on while I slam my fingers inside her as hard as I can and I keep right on talking. “You act like a whore, never caring what I do to you. Like you can take it or leave it. Like you can get it anywhere, anytime you want.” I stop for a moment. Her breathing is hard and I can feel her legs shake, maybe from the cold, maybe the rush of a quick, angry fuck.
I twist and feel myself inside her. Let it build. Build to a strong, hard fuck. “It’s true. You can, baby. You can get it anytime you want. You can get it from anyone. You can throw your legs open and let them fuck you. Drunk. Stumbling to the bedroom. Stumbling to get on top of you. Fumbling with their almost hard dicks in their hands. You can get them with that flash of your ass or your tits. They can smell your pussy from across the bar, right? Did they see you bend over to pick up the dropped quarters before you put your money in the jukebox?”
I shove myself inside her hard. Harder than before but slower, with more intent and a steady rhythm. “You can get it, baby. Anytime. You can have that. But it’s not what you want.” Slower. “I know you, baby.” My thumb brushes against her clit. “You like it pretty.” I press my lips against her back. “You like it pretty and you hate yourself for it.” I kiss her back. “You move your hips against me and I know how good you feel.” I hold her tight. My fingers inside her and my thumb rubbing her clit. We’re so wet between us. I can feel our sweat and the chill of the fog all around us. She pushes against my fingers. I hold her and let her ride against my hand.
“You’ve got to be quiet,” I whisper and her moan rises up from low in her belly. “Be quiet, baby,” I hush. She rides. We are twisted together. I hold on tight and whisper sweet things to her. “Come for me,” I sigh, “You’re my girl.”
She shudders so sweetly.
My girl.
I can do whatever I want to her. She let’s me fuck her.