This is not for you

I need to be inside you right now. Watching you come. My thighs between yours. My hands on your shoulders.

I walked in the door tonight and felt you missing. Knowing you’d be back soon, I didn’t care. Fuck waiting. I want you at this moment. Right now.

I opened all the drawers, looking for cigarettes. There’s nothing. Not one. I shouldn’t smoke anyway. I poured myself a drink. Ice in the glass. Pacing. Waiting. God damn it. It doesn’t matter that I know where you are. I don’t care about that.

I went out to the garage. Scrap wood. Circular saw. The blade and the sawdust. The noise. Thought I’d build something, but I abandoned it as fast as I’d drained my drink. I shouldn’t be doing this, I thought. This isn’t what I want.

This cock pressing into my thigh is what I need to feel. Your weight on my hips.

When you walk through that door, I want to drag you by the hair.

I will fumble with my belt. The rattle of it.

I will catch the skin of my fingers on the fly of my jeans. Impatient. I will shove you down onto the carpet. Belly up. I want you to see me. Here I am.

I’m lifting your dress. My cock jams against you, stopped by the thin cotton of your panties. I don’t give a fuck about them. Your panties. I will shove my cock against them until they move aside.

Do you feel me trying to get in? I need to be inside you. Raging. I will come first. I will shove my fingers in your mouth and feel your teeth on my knuckles. It’s not you who will be scared, it’s me. Just me. All me.

This isn’t for you. It’s for her.

Still, I hope you like it.